(a good time was had by all) and Oregon (ditto the GTHBA). I hate to be a tease, but posts will be even more sporadic while I settle into my new home in anticipation of becoming Mrs. Admin in August.Apparently, a drama-free end of the year is just not possible in el año 2008. The Doe-Eyes situation finished (yes, I saw her walk), and the Little Lee Affair began. I'm giving you the long story short because it still lumps my gravy to talk about it.
Little Lee is a good student. Not an excellent student, a good student. He earned a B+. Mama and Papa Lee (particularly Papa) don't like that. They question the essay portion of the final. I recheck it, and discover a grading mistake which changes his grade on the final exam. Little Lee's still getting a B+, only it's way higher. High enough to be almost an A-, if 89.8% were an A-, which it isn't. Lee's father is now convinced that the A is within his reach -- and yes, I mean Mr. Lee's reach.
He asks to see the essay portion of the final. Oh, y'all know why he wants to see the essay and not the Scantron -- the essay is "subjective" (nevermind the rubric on the prompt) and that grade can be altered, scraping up enough points to send Little Lee to the Promised Land. After much hemming and hawing, and even a polite "that's-still-not-going-to-change-your-son's-grade email", and since I'm not using it for next year, I make a photocopy and put it up at the front office.
I also have a meltdown and cry about this whole thing with my friend and fellow honors teacher. In her infinite wisdom, she asks if there was any time during the semester in which I might have made a grading error with this kid. Probably. Is it possible to "err on the side of mercy" this time? Probably.
But.
This student didn't get an A on the vocabulary ("objective") portion of the final, either. This student's grade has always been commensurate with the quality of his work. He is improving, but he is not performing to a standard of excellence -- if he were, he would be getting a solid A like my other excellent students. He would have done all the extra credit offered; he would have come in for extra help. He didn't. He's a good student, not an excellent one.
I believe in effort. I believe in excellence. I believe that the latter is a product of the former. I don't believe that effort is the only ingredient of that equation. I can try really hard at knitting, but until I master casting on, there's no chance of sweaters, scarves, or socks. I need to learn the first skill and build on that. When I master one, I can move to another. And Little Lee, well, he hasn't quite mastered the skills yet to achieve excellence. He's getting there, but he's not there yet.
I don't want to cave to a parent's demands. I don't like going against my principles -- or my syllabus, which says I don't round up ('cause seriously, where is it easier to draw the line than 90, 80, etc.?).
But Mr. Lee gives me the screaming creeps -- even over email. Cajoling, mild threats, compliments (all in an email riddled with errors, which leads me to believe a) I'm not worth the effort of proper grammar, and b) a saying about apples and trees which I'm sure you can imagine. Mr. Lee is the kind of man who offers to buy a girl a drink, and scoffs when she says she's the designated driver. He flatters her, and then like a loanshark, expects far more for his effort than she's prepared to pay...so she placates him by accepting the drink. And another. He maneuvers her away from her friends, making sure she feels like she's confident, calm, in control...and then takes advantage of her in the parking lot. At least that's how his emails make me feel.
So, after my meltdown, I change the grade to an A-. I don't change my gradebook -- the numbers remain what they are -- but I change the grade. I do not tell Mr. or Mrs. Lee; I'm afraid of what I might say to them if they thank me.
When I finally check my school email two days ago, I find that Mr. Lee is appealing my grade -- he wants copies of my exam and everything! His smarmy tactics are now aimed at Principal Pratt, who, as you might imagine (and whom I have blogged about) is not the rock upon which our educational faith shall be built. Pratt seems to think that Mr. Lee's argument* that I "predetermine" kids' grade has merit -- enough merit to promise Mr. Lee that Pratt will get back to him after a chat with me. Well, I'm gone this summer. Real gone.
I haven't replied. We'll see what happens when the grades go home.
I have never had a year in which so many parents and students outright challenged my capacity to teach and assess. I'm human, sure enough, but I do have experience in these matters. I sense a longer, more philosophical post in me somewhere. I need to think about what it means to be a professional, and if I am one. And if I am, how can I get people to recognize and treat me as one?
*I repeatedly tell my students that a B is a good grade, especially in an honors class. Not enough parents tell them that; not enough parents believe it. Mr. Lee has somehow interpreted that statement as a limiting one -- that I told Little Lee that was the only grade he could earn and he should be happy with it. Notice that little addition? Yeah. Damn. Mongers all.
P. S.: Here's a little gem from one of the oddest and amusingest (!) web comics on the net, Married to the Sea.
7 comments:
That is the BEST comic - made me laugh outloud! Don't let it get to you - it comes with the territory as you know. You might ruin their chances to get into Harvard...anyway! Glad fun was had by all and I MISS YOU!
Forget your email and keep focus on the summer.
You make several very valid points! I prefer not to fight if parentals are as psycho as these! BTW, I stole your cartoon for my post today. AND, to help take your mind of the Lees & other headaches, please tune in to my blog Sunday for another edition of the Silly Sweepstakes! :) You have quite the funny caption-writing capability!
This is what gets me angry about this situation: Some parents are completely insensitive to the dilemma they create when asking a teacher to compromise their principles. Maybe the parents don't think it's a big deal, since they already compromised their own principals (if they had any) before they even got involved in the situation.
We can't reason with people who are unreasonable. I teach at the college level, and I feel your pain. Nothing you do for this man will be good enough, and your description of this smarmy parent as the creepy guy in the parking lot is spot-on perfect.
Helicopter parents are the creepy stalkers our own parents warned us about. They don't think like normal people; they don't act like normal people; they are not normal people. Fear them. They exist everywhere, and they thrive and grow because administration sucks.
And please don't forget, BTW, that today's Silly Sunday. Sharpen up that sense o' humor, and drop in to see me!
I beg of you, please, please, PLEASE keep the grade a B-.
Listen, the reason Mr. Lee is like that, to use your metaphor, is that he's managed to assault women in the parking lot before precisely because no one has metaphorically aimed a knee at his yarbles.
Please be that person. I'm pleading with you on behalf of every subsequent teacher Little Lee will have, and on behalf of teachers everywhere. When we give in to the Mr. Lees of the world, we sell ourselves. I speak as a former grade ho myself, if that helps.
With all due respect to your colleague, her argument is irrelevant. The grades you gave throughout the year were acceptable, apparently, to Lee and Mr. Lee, so frankly, the statute of limitations has EXPIRED. I would also add this question: Do you think at any point you were more GENEROUS than this jerk deserved? If so, that balances out any perceived or supposed "unfairness."
Stick to your guns. He earned what he earned.
Wow. You are way less greedy than I am!
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